Petra Nemcova: the Next Tyra Banks?

America’s Next Top Model made it through 9 cycles of ridiculous photo shoots--“murdered models” being among the most memorable--before falling victim to the inevitable piracy of reality television and spawning TLC’s A Model Life, hosted by Petra Nemcova. Fans of Top Model are likely to be skeptical; Nemcova may boast a sexy accent and be decidedly easy on the eyes, but how can she rival all the fiery fierceness that is Tyra Banks? Contestants on UPN’s hit show certainly tend to be on the loony side, but viewers are just as likely to tune in to hear Tyra’s words of wisdom (“Smile with your eyes….like THIS!”) and view her wardrobe choices (which reached a sartorial peak last season, in which she displayed an undeniable propensity for gypsy costumes) as they are to watch a group of photogenic twentysomethings throw tantrums. Nemcova gets props for surviving a tsunami, but does she have enough oomph to sustain an entire reality series? After all, everyone knows the essential ingredient for reality television success: a good host. Imagine American Idol without Simon Cowell, and you get the picture.

Until a trailer surfaces for A Model Life, here’s proof that Petra Nemcova is not an ugly person.

A Musical Phantasmagoria

There's something deeply wistful about Tara Busch's "Tag," resting somewhere between the realm of nostalgia and nightmare. This song is such that it simply can't be listened to without also watching the music video; they both compliment each other so perfectly. The birds hypnotically swirling together like a great wave in the sky, like an ominous harbinger of disaster straight from a dated horror film -- it's all so strangely familiar and alien. It's a dreamy lilting tribute to an innocent world long since past, naive and menacing in its unfulfilled possibility.

HIM Continues to Confuse

Ah HIM, you and your bizarre use of the English language. Sure, it comes across as "deep" but it's actual quite nonsensical. "Passion's Killing Floor"? Are you kidding me? That doesn't even qualify as a metaphor.

Nonetheless, though the lyrics may be wanting, the music is absolutely beautiful. HIM's "love metal" really does stand apart as a genre of its own, and this song even managed to win over my cynical death-metal loving heart. While HIM's particular brand of hormone-dripping laconic melancholy can sometimes cloy, "Passion's Killing Floor" is just heavy enough to keep one from switching to mute. The video below is a fan's mashup of prior HIM videos as an official music video is yet to come. However, if their musical improvement is any indication of the band's general direction, I'm sure the coming audiovisual experience will be completely jaw-dropping.

Hey Paula

Paula Abdul’s long awaited reality show, aptly titled “Hey Paula” aired tonight on Bravo with two episodes for the price of one. Upon partaking in the blessed event, we’ve come to the conclusion that recent media speculation about her potential substance abuse as an explanation for bizarre behaviors is in fact off-base…it’s simply sleep deprivation driving her to insanity. We genuinely mean that. The show itself was entertaining and Paula is everything you thought she was…most notably emotionally fragile, demanding and difficult – but also funny! She has the occasional sparkling one-liner…that she inevitably ruins for us upon laughing at her own brilliance in way that is reminiscent of Ursula the Sea Witch. But hey, we appreciate the fact that “the funny” is in her nonetheless.
http://www.bravotv.com/Hey_Paula/index.php

Twin-Size Bed of Love

Vama's "Bed of Love" plays like an arthouse romance, chronicling a day in the life of an exceptionally good-looking couple. The life in this love affair has apparently run its course, and the muted color scheme of this video perfectly reflects that. What happens when love ceases to be passionate and exciting -- when love ceases to be "love?" Vama would have us believe that ending it (preferably amicably) would be the best solution.

From the conservative jammies, the separate cereal boxes, and the playfully platonic exchanges to the final "break-up" scene, this is the tale of love gone gray. Love gone gray in the most beautiful way possible, but gray nonetheless.

Promise to Stay Conscious

Gillian Welch’s decision to tour with Bright Eyes further mellows her already tamed musical career. Welch’s album Soul Journey lacked the spark of the earlier Time (The Revelator) and Bright Eyes have never had much spark, churning out lyrics and musical arrangements that could pass for slightly risqué lullabies. In the tour’s recent Toronto stop, Welch and Oberst performed Lua together. Welch sings the lines “I've got a flask inside my pocket/ We can share it on the train/and if you promise to stay conscious/ I will try and do the same” with a force that intensifies the otherwise anti-climactic performance. But her solo still lacks the biting tenderness that characterized Welch’s My First Lover or Revelator.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hn4kIkFxN8

Hello?

More music from across the ocean, this time in the form of Namie Amuro's "Hello."

Well, even when the Japanese aren't being original, at least they're consistent. This video is very consistent in theme (cellphones), color scheme (washed out black and white with lots of maroon), hairstyle (long and wavy, long and wavy, and...long and wavy), and unoriginality (jiggling chicks in tiny outfits). In all though, the video's actually rather entertaining. The music's good and the visuals are attention-grabbing -- in particular, there's this one scene where she's surrounded by floating cellphones. Perhaps this is an audiovisual commentary on how society has become so dependent on technology as to have become completely disconnected. What seems like a typical musical confection is actually an intellectual study of modern pop culture!

Then again, maybe not. Whatever it is, it has a cute chick in it.