"My Eyes! My Eyes!" Indeed

Hands down, no contest, the single worst movie of 2006 was Neil Labute's remake of "The Wicker Man" starring Nicolas Cage. For cinephiles able to sit through the movie's complete running time (it's assumed that any such viewers arrived at the theater in wheelchairs which were subsequently stolen, leaving them unable to depart), a project of this immense dreadfulness serves two important purposes. First, it reminds us that the tone being created by the filmmakers and actors is not always the same tone that will later be "read" by the audience. Second, it's guaranteed to be flat-out hilariously bad, which is itself a form of entertainment – albeit a very unintentional one. The greatest lesson of "The Wicker Man," when all is said and done, is that Neil Labute's harshest critics have long been correct: the man appears to be a misogynist of the first order, and may need immediate, intensive psychotherapy with medication. You'll have a hard time disagreeing with this premise after the third time Nic Cage sucker-punches a woman in the face. He does so dressed as a bear. Please note that this post isn't one of those phony trailers recut to alter a film's tone ("It's 'GoodFellas' as a comedy! Hilarious!"). These are actually scenes as they appear in the widely-released motion picture.